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Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Canibus

Canibus' Bizarre Explanation
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''I Was Abducted By Human Blood Sucking Leeches''
1:30PM ET June 13th, 2012
Contributor : Chris G.
A Rocky Williform Company
Canibus' Bizarre ExplanationCanibus' flame-out during a broadcasted online rap battle became an instant Internet sensation and probably destroyed what was left of the once-respected lyricist's career. In the aftermath of that debacle, the rapper posted an explanation on Tumblr that offered up a bizarre scenario right out of a science fiction novel.
"A few days before the KOTD Vendetta event, I was abducted by human blood sucking leeches who did not make their identity known, but I assume were agents of the dark world. While in my vehicle ready to pay for a toll, a helicopter attached with a satellite device that promotes fear flew directly over me. Upon being aware of what was happening I decided to escape on foot and flee from this radioactive device that can cause mental and emotional harm to any man- Even a man who possesses the brain waves of a complicated degree such as myself. As I abandoned my vehicle, I got to a fence and as I climbed underneath, the helicopter got visual contact on its target and there was nothing I could do. Completely lost in a parallel universe I was removed from consciousness and as I woke up I had secret agents of some kind asking me why I decided to battle in this event that was being broadcasted world-wide. I explained to them it was strictly Hip Hop related but they did not believe me. They used Chinese water torture methods at first to try to break my spirits to no avail. They attached wires to my skull and moved on to "Alternative 2." They then inquired about my knowledge of secret societies and about my experiences in the military."
"Firstly, I want to apologize first to 'Subject 10' whose vehicle I abandoned when the agents were approaching me. Secondly, I'd like to apologize to Supernat because I made him come support me and stand behind me for that embarrassment. Thirdly, I'd like to apologize to all The Rippers in attendance who I let down. Finally, I'd like to apologize to Dizaster and the entire KOTD staff. I tried my best and stood there like the solider I am but there was nothing I can do. As I said in the event, I could only do what I can do. For everyone who seems to be making a mockery out of my just- Remember this; dinosaurs once ruled the planet, Rome was once a powerhouse, The Blazers drafted Greg Oden, and every dog has its day. Doubt me and you will be defeated."

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